Family Psychology

we discuss issues of the family beginning with child, adolescent, couples and family life.Assistance will be offered through writings and counsellings.

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Showing posts with label Adolescent/Youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adolescent/Youth. Show all posts

Monday, August 31, 2020

August 31, 2020

Anger Management

 

ANGER MANAGEMENT 

In this presentation I am discussing about anger management. Anger can be highly stressful emotion that results in all kinds of negative consequences. Anger can either be constructive or destructive. Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. When a person is angry, the body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As a result, the heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, and breathing rate increases. When an angry feeling coincides with aggressive behavior, it also activates the amygdala, an almond–shaped part of the brain associated with emotions, particularly fear, anxiety, and anger. There are three types of anger which help shape how we react in a situation. They are: Passive Aggression (where one reacts silently, pretentively and tacitly.), Open Aggression (lashing out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive), and Assertive Anger (it is a healthy way by being in control and confident, talking and listening, and open to help in dealing with the situation). We are discussing the followings;

1)      Why am I getting angry?

2)      Anger triggering factors

3)      Anger warning signs

4)      Consequences of Anger

5)      Learning to cool down

What Makes me angry? Why am I getting angry?

§  When I think of the unfair things people did to me in the past

§  Waiting in queue or waiting for friends, makes me uneasy

§  Heated arguments with my dear ones

§  Sleepless nights thinking about unpleasant things that had happened to me

§  Difficult to forgive others

§  Lose control over my emotions

§  Bad temper

§  When irritated I blurt out things which I later regret

§  When things don’t go my way I get frustrated

§  I feel cheated when people I trust let me down

Anger triggering factors

1.      Social – feeling ignored, being treated unfairly, injustice

2.      Official – work pressure, facts misinterpreted

3.      Food/Drinking habits – alcohol, spicy foods

4.      Culture and thinking styles

5.      The way we perceive other’s intention

6.      Use of offending words

7.      Health factors like diseases, general weaknesses, emotional disorders, etc.

Anger warning signs

1.      Sweating

2.      Clenching fist

3.      Grinding teeth

4.      Head ache

5.      Trembling

6.      Feeling irritated / anxious/resentful

7.      Feel like out bursting physically/verbally

8.      Rubbing your head

9.      Feel like yelling/screaming

10.  Feeling uneasy

Consequences of Anger

§  Increases the risk of heart diseases

§  Blood pressure rises

§  Head ache

§  Digestion problems

§  Insomnia or lack of sleep

§  Depression

§  Skin diseases

§  Lack of peace of mind

§  Relationship tends to be strained

§  Career issues

§  Hurting others physically and emotionally

§  People will avoid you; you will be lonely

§  Affects your decision-making ability

Learning to cool down

1.      Analyze why you feel angry

2.      Take three deep breaths

3.      Detach yourself from that situation

4.      Take a walk and get some fresh air

5.      Get a mental escape by watching a good movie, playing your favorite game

6.      Talking to your friends

7.      Don’t try to change what is beyond your control

8.      Be assertive on expressing yourself

9.      Say to yourself some positive statements

How to be self motivated

10.  Write down what made you angry on a paper and tear it off

11.  Do something creative like gardening or painting to change your focus

12.  Confide to a dear friend or a family member

13.  Exercise

14.  Take a relaxing bath or shower

15.  Calm music, favorite movie, candy/chocolate

16.  Squeeze toys, punch ball, prayer beads, playing cards

17.  Picture of your dear ones, favorite people, inspiring words, beautiful scenery

18.  Joke books/ funny videos

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Saturday, August 31, 2019

August 31, 2019

Why do Children run away from their homes?


Playing Truant
Cutting Classes or Running Away from Home

Why do Children run away from their homes?, Parents are the cause in wealthy children
Children run away from their homes
Truancy or running away from home comes under the behavioural disorder of an act of delinquency, which is almost as bad as lying or stealing. Fortunately in Asia the problem has yet not achieved the proportions that it has done in the United States, though cases of truancy are more frequent than actually running away from home. But as they say prevention is better than cure and it is always better to nip the problem in the bud. 

Parents are the cause in Wealthy Children

Research reveals that the parents are normally the cause children playing truant in very wealthy families.  Children are most at risk in families where money is given too much importance or where parents have no the time to inculcate the right values.  Children are also of the impression that money comes in easily and that money can buy them everything in life. So why bother with school.

Let us take the example of fifteen-year old Pranav who hailed from a very rich family in Mumbai. He was not at all interested in school and would keep on doing badly in class. He was pulled up a couple of times by his teachers and as a result began to hate going school. Soon he started skipping classes on the slightest pretext. When his parents forcibly sent him to school, he found a way to pretend he was at school. When his parents finally caught on to his truant behaviour, they punished him by taking him out of school and making him join the family business. He realized his loss only much later in life when he found that the lowliest clerk in the company was more educated than he was and that he could not even hope to expand his business due to his lack of education. https://ranjith1977.blogspot.com/2019/08/Effective-parents.html

Schools to be blamed for underprivileged children

Whereas parents are the cause of truancy in the upper strata of society, it is the schools that are to blame for truancy and dropouts in the lower strata. Often a child from a poor family may not be able to afford all the equipment required by the school, like a compass box or paint box and extra uniforms and tends to come under constant scrutiny. He then begins to feel ashamed and conscious that he cannot afford the good things like the other children and tries to avoid them, the teachers and school on the whole. After this it is very difficult for him to concentrate on his studies and he becomes a drop out.

Restless children often feel confined

Some children basically find it difficult to sit in one place and concentrate for six hours a day, with only a few short breaks. They tend to get shifty and restless and generally end up getting punished by the teacher. At this point the teacher should be aware of what is really happening and try to make the class more interesting. Instead what normally happens is that the child gets constantly punished.  He will try to avoid that particular class until he ultimately begins to bunk school entirely.

Streets can be so unsafe

This is a very grave situation because the child’s parents are under the wrong impression that the child is at school. He may actually be roaming the streets where he could be prey to gamblers, drug peddlers and other anti-social elements.  These interactions, which initially start as friends to “hang-out” with while cutting school, could actually lead to serious problems such as drug abuse and addition, gambling or even visiting commercial sex workers.  It is therefore extremely important for parents to be constantly in touch with the teachers about the child’s progress to avoid such situations and save a young life from being ruined.

Running away from home

But an even graver situation arises when the child actually runs away from home due to pressures or disharmony of any kind. Very often a child might feel extremely lonely or misunderstood and may have no close relative or friend in whom he can confide in. And when the pain becomes intolerable he might finally just get up and run away without caring about the consequences.

Take the case of twelve-year-old Vishal, whose parents were too involved in their own lives and never really cared for him.  Vishal had a sister 10 years older than him.  Despite the age difference, he was very close to her.  But soon a time came when she got married and moved to a different city, Pune.  After her marriage Vishal was completely broken.  He was living in the house and under the same roof with his parents, but with little or no communication between them. Vishal was extremely lonely and depressed. He lost interest in his studies, and life in general.  One day, Vishal just packed a few clothes and ran off to Pune, to his sister’s house. He felt that she was the only one in the family who really understood him and who cared for him.  The parents were in a state of shock when they discovered he had run away.  He didn’t see any reason for his behaviours, because they felt that they were providing him with the latest and most expensive games, giving him big sums for pocket money and allowing him to do whatever he wanted.  What they didn’t realize was that he craved for their attention. 

Given the intense social pressures of today, it is important that parents and teachers wore together to help children grow into happy, well-adjusted human beings.  Teacher should be well trained in the basics of child guidance. Parents from their side should provide a harmonious atmosphere and emotional security for their children. This is the only way to delinquency acts and other behavioural disorders can be prevented.
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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

August 13, 2019

Principles of self confidence


Self-image-building Principle
Self-image is the way you see yourself. To build your self-image “picture yourself what you want to be”. In Psycho-cybernetic terms your “self-image” is the result of all the inner programming. Your self-image, the way you see yourself on the inside, largely determines your performance on the outside.
principles of self confidence,building self confidence
principles of self confidence
Self-image is the total picture of yourself which you carry around with every minute of the day; you may not be aware of it, but it is there, complete to the last detail. Your self-image grew out of the beliefs you formed about yourself since the day you were born. Self-image is the basis on which your entire personality, behavior and environment are built. It is a prime motivator.
Your self-image is formed as a result of all thoughts and experiences in your life from birth to the present moment. Self-image is the mental picture you hold of yourself. Your self-image resides in the subconscious mind, which forms part of your belief system. You can never outperform your self-image, meaning: if you do not see yourself as confident, then you will not act with confidence.
Your self-image will naturally blossom if you think well of yourself, your thoughts, words and deeds, and be convinced of your worth and competence. Take care of your self-image and regularly reinforce it, by feeding your subconscious mind with boosting, inspiring thoughts.
Picture yourself as a successful person in whatever you do. A picture is worth a thousand words. Begin by being a successful person in mind before becoming successful person if you cannot picture yourself as a successful person. Picture yourself as if you are already in possession of your goal.
Everybody has a self-image which is already programmed and therefore everybody has an existing self-image. Almost everyone suffers from an adequate self-image. New self-image has to be created by re-programming yourself. It will require that you remove, alter or amend old thought patterns and beliefs with positive suggestions. The change takes place in gradual stages.
Everything in your life, including your wealth is directly proportionate to your self-image which is a faithful reflection of your mental programming. Indeed it is the conscious part of your mental programming and it puts on the road to a totally new life.
Eliminate your old negative self-image. A negative self-image prevents you from reaching your full potential. Change the existing thought pattern. Create your new positive self-image which will enable you to reach your full potential. Create new thought patterns. Be convinced that you can achieve aby degree of success by changing your thoughts and attitude with faith and perseverance.
12 Ways to improve your self-image
1.    Be honest with yourself
2.    Develop your imagination
3.    Have total physical and mental relaxation
4.    Have a winning attitude
5.    Cultivate good habits
6.    Aim to be happy
7.    Remove the mask of someone else’s expectation and stop deceiving yourself
8.    Have compassion
9.    Grow from your mistakes
10.  Acknowledge your weaknesses
11.  Be yourself
12.  Follow the growth principle of life
There is always direct relationship between self-image and your ability to succeed in your life. So you yourself are totally responsible for your success and prosperity or otherwise. It is up to you to eliminate your old negative self-image and create a positive one.

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