Family Communication Problems

Communication is very important to any relationship. It is how we work ou

Family Communication

t problems, learn about each other and strengthen our relationship bond. In a family, communication is a must. If you are going to resolve conflicts or solve problems, you have to communicate with each other. But when it comes to fostering and nurturing relationships, it is often the family relationship that is left wanting. So many times we take it for granted that our family will always be there. But as with any relationship, that without family takes work.

1. Everyone Gets a Turn: - In any discussion, it is important that each person gets a turn to speak. Many times, though, group attempts to discuss an important topic wind up with everyone trying to talk over each other. No one hears what the others are saying and nothing is accomplished. To ensure that everyone gets a turn, use a timer and give each person equal time to say whatever she feels, to talk about any ideas she may have and to ask any questions. The catch is that while that person is talking, no one can interrupt her. Family members can take notes if they like so that they can address things that are said when it is their turn to talk, but interruptions are not allowed.

2. Stay Focused: - Relationships can get emotional and erupt into hurtful exchanges that solve nothing. It is important that when you sit down for discussion, you stay focused on the topic at hand. Don't drag up issues that happened months ago or that have no relevance to the issue at hand. This type of dirty fighting leads nowhere helpful. If everyone stays focused on the problem and works toward a solution, things will go a lot smoother. Don't use communication as an emotional data dump. Instead, encourage sharing, exchanging ideas and finding solutions together.

3. Don't take it personally: -When you sit down as a family, communication should be about the issue. If someone shoots down your idea or says things that get under your skin, don't take it personally. If you do, you'll get defensive--and that is not productive. Don't take things to heart or internalize them, and don't argue. If you disagree with a family member, wait until it is your turn to talk and calmly explain your position. Try not to be defensive and don't try to put others on the defensive.

4. Avoid the Gripe Session: -The family relationship can be a tenuous one. Often you live together and spend a great deal of time together. When it comes to family, communication often leaves a lot to be desired. Keep your family communication healthy--don't turn it into a gripe session. If you have valid complaints, you can voice them, but if you are going to nag, whine and complain, you will get nowhere and simply waste your efforts.

5. Listen: -The most important element of effective communication is listening. Stop, close your mouth and open your ears. Sometimes people just need to vent and they need someone to be quiet and listen to them. If you stop and listen to your family members, you might surprise at what you hear. Listening is one of the most loving forms of communication that you can enter into. When you stop and listen to someone, you are sending him the message that you care about him and about what he is saying.

6. Don't assume: - Don't assume that the people in your family know how you feel about them. Words are very powerful when spoken. However, the words that you don't say can be just as powerful. If you are a parent, when was the last time you told your child that you love her? Or that you accept her or that you are proud of her? Say what you feel to your family members. Communication is not about assuming that they already know, it is about letting them know.