Family Psychology

we discuss issues of the family beginning with child, adolescent, couples and family life.Assistance will be offered through writings and counsellings.

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Monday, August 31, 2020

August 31, 2020

Anger Management

 

ANGER MANAGEMENT 

In this presentation I am discussing about anger management. Anger can be highly stressful emotion that results in all kinds of negative consequences. Anger can either be constructive or destructive. Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. When a person is angry, the body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As a result, the heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, and breathing rate increases. When an angry feeling coincides with aggressive behavior, it also activates the amygdala, an almond–shaped part of the brain associated with emotions, particularly fear, anxiety, and anger. There are three types of anger which help shape how we react in a situation. They are: Passive Aggression (where one reacts silently, pretentively and tacitly.), Open Aggression (lashing out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive), and Assertive Anger (it is a healthy way by being in control and confident, talking and listening, and open to help in dealing with the situation). We are discussing the followings;

1)      Why am I getting angry?

2)      Anger triggering factors

3)      Anger warning signs

4)      Consequences of Anger

5)      Learning to cool down

What Makes me angry? Why am I getting angry?

§  When I think of the unfair things people did to me in the past

§  Waiting in queue or waiting for friends, makes me uneasy

§  Heated arguments with my dear ones

§  Sleepless nights thinking about unpleasant things that had happened to me

§  Difficult to forgive others

§  Lose control over my emotions

§  Bad temper

§  When irritated I blurt out things which I later regret

§  When things don’t go my way I get frustrated

§  I feel cheated when people I trust let me down

Anger triggering factors

1.      Social – feeling ignored, being treated unfairly, injustice

2.      Official – work pressure, facts misinterpreted

3.      Food/Drinking habits – alcohol, spicy foods

4.      Culture and thinking styles

5.      The way we perceive other’s intention

6.      Use of offending words

7.      Health factors like diseases, general weaknesses, emotional disorders, etc.

Anger warning signs

1.      Sweating

2.      Clenching fist

3.      Grinding teeth

4.      Head ache

5.      Trembling

6.      Feeling irritated / anxious/resentful

7.      Feel like out bursting physically/verbally

8.      Rubbing your head

9.      Feel like yelling/screaming

10.  Feeling uneasy

Consequences of Anger

§  Increases the risk of heart diseases

§  Blood pressure rises

§  Head ache

§  Digestion problems

§  Insomnia or lack of sleep

§  Depression

§  Skin diseases

§  Lack of peace of mind

§  Relationship tends to be strained

§  Career issues

§  Hurting others physically and emotionally

§  People will avoid you; you will be lonely

§  Affects your decision-making ability

Learning to cool down

1.      Analyze why you feel angry

2.      Take three deep breaths

3.      Detach yourself from that situation

4.      Take a walk and get some fresh air

5.      Get a mental escape by watching a good movie, playing your favorite game

6.      Talking to your friends

7.      Don’t try to change what is beyond your control

8.      Be assertive on expressing yourself

9.      Say to yourself some positive statements

How to be self motivated

10.  Write down what made you angry on a paper and tear it off

11.  Do something creative like gardening or painting to change your focus

12.  Confide to a dear friend or a family member

13.  Exercise

14.  Take a relaxing bath or shower

15.  Calm music, favorite movie, candy/chocolate

16.  Squeeze toys, punch ball, prayer beads, playing cards

17.  Picture of your dear ones, favorite people, inspiring words, beautiful scenery

18.  Joke books/ funny videos

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Saturday, September 21, 2019

September 21, 2019

Pocket money: when & how much? | Raising Children


Pocket Money

Pocket money: when & how much? | Raising Children,Should you give your children pocket money?
pocket money

Do you give your kids an allowance or 'pocket money'? 

If not, perhaps it's time you started. Giving a child an allowance has numerous benefits, and it inculcates a sense of responsibility in your child. 

How much?

Be logical about the amount of pocket money you are giving your kids. If it is just a token and you know your kids will come running to you the minute they need to buy something exciting, and you won’t hesitate to fork over the money (if, of course, you feel their demand is reasonable), you're not doing the right thing. 
Let your children learn that they have to save up to buy something they really want. Don't let them get into the habit of running to you every time they need more money. But in order for you to do this, you have to give them a reasonable allowance every week.(Here is an article on we can be  effective parents  https://ranjith1977.blogspot.com/2019/08/postive-parent-child-relationship.html

Weekly or monthly?

First of all, you have to decide if you want to give your child a monthly allowance or a weekly allowance. Usually weekly allowances work better with children. 

Money Management

Giving your children an allowance teaches them how to manage money, and this will come in handy throughout their lives. Even if your kids make a bad decision, they will learn in a safe environment, as the sum involved is fairly little.  Your kids will learn budgeting, saving and spending. They will learn to look after their money. The advantages of giving your child an allowance are tremendous, so don't slack off.

When should you start giving your child an allowance?

When your child turns six, he should be old enough to accept the responsibility. Explain that you are going to be giving him an allowance, and he has to be responsible with the money, as he is not going to get any more from you until it's time for his next allowance. Sit with him and help him chart out a budget.  Schoolbooks and your child's lunch money should not be part of the allowance. But if he loses a schoolbook then he would have to use his allowance to buy it. 

Household chores

Encourage him to start working to increase his pocket money. However, don't pay him money for daily chores around the house like making his own bed. But if he does an additional which takes time and labour, like perhaps cleaning out YOUR cupboard, then you could give him some extra money to compensate. So, you child will quickly learn that he would have to 'earn' a living - the world doesn't owe him anything and he's never going to get something for nothing. 
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Tuesday, September 10, 2019

September 10, 2019

How to be self Motivated

How to be self motivated, SkillsYouNeed,Self-Motivation | SkillsYouNeed

Self-Motivation 


Self-Motivation 




Motivation is something that drives or causes you to act. Motivation is a motive-in-action. It is motive that propels you into action.
Your success is hidden in your motive and action and therefore these two must go hand in hand. If you have motive and no action then you do not have success. If you have action and no motive, you will not have success either.
Motivation helps you
1.    To dream, to conceive of an idea, a concept
2.    To believe in your heart
3.    To decide to do something to pursue your dreams and then realize your dreams
Motivation comes from your belief system – the faith you have in your inner values. That means you need always to believe in what you do in order to sustain your motivation.
Because of the repetition of your self-suggestions, you stay motivated and focused. But this is your own job. Others can inspire you; create a conducive environment which can be motivating. But they cannot motivate you; they can only inspire you to motivate yourself.
Motivation is so powerful that it can persuade, convince and propel you into action. Motivation is the driving force that can literally change your life.https://ranjith1977.blogspot.com/2019/08/Self-Esteem-principel.html
Your internal motivation (or attitude motivation) comes from your sense of achievement, attitude towards life, pride, beliefs, convictions, etc. your external motivation (incentive motivation) comes from outside sources such as money, societal approval, fame or fear or from incentives such as bonuses, commission, recognition, etc. Positive self-motivation is the catalyst that fosters persistence, determination and concentration of effort. It is the basis for all constructive human behavior and achievement, since everything an individual does, whether positive or negative, intentional or unintentional, is the result of motivation.
Winners In life are people who have developed intense, stimulating positive self-motivation. We all have some of it. The objective is to have a lot of it. We know that all super-achievers have a high degree of self-motivation.
15 ways to motivate yourself
1.    Programme your subconscious mind to win
2.    Have your smart goals written down
3.    Prioritize activities
4.    Cultivate the habit of written list-making
5.    Set out of your comfort zone and move yourself into the challenge zone
6.    Magnetize yourself to massive action
7.    Repeat your self-suggestions several times a day
8.    Practice creative visualization
9.    Model yourself after successful people
10.  Have a mentor and follow his advice
11.  Replay your past successes
12.  Learn the habit of ‘live in the present and do it now
13.  Read personal empowerment books regularly
14.  Attend personal empowerment training programmes as often as possible
The story of the “Four-Minute Mile” is illustrative of self-motivation. For several thousands of years, people held the belief that it was impossible for any human being to run a mile in less than four minutes. In ancient Egypt it was said that they released lions to chase after slaves in order to make them run a mile within four minutes but they failed. The best time ever recorded was 4 minutes and 06 seconds. Scientists, doctors and experts declared that there was no way a man could run a mile in less than four minutes. They said that if any person should try, “his heart would jump right out of his body”. But there was a man by the name of Roger Bannister who believed in himself and became self-motivated. He went through a systematic training programme and in 1954 he ran the mile in less than four minutes and later within a year, 37 other runners got motivated and achieved what was believed, for a long time, to be impossible.
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